Girl Math’s 7 Rules for Fantasy FB Draft Day

By Tracy Granzyk, MS, MFA

You’ve seen the memes. Girl math says a $300 pair of boots on sale for $150 is basically free. Girl math says ordering a second glass of prosecco makes the first one half price. Girl math says buying two horses means 10x the happiness. And now? Girl math is officially entering the chat for fantasy football draft season, because picking the perfect lineup is basically like shopping. Except your receipts are touchdowns and bragging rights.

Welcome to “Draft Day: Girl Math Edition,” your sparkly new playbook for winning fantasy glory while sipping prosecco and chuckling at those stress-sweating over spreadsheets. Grab your Tecovas, your cold brew, and maybe a lucky lipstick, because we’re about to turn draft night into a heel-kicking girls’ night.

Quick Draft Day Refresher

Know what type of draft you’re jumping into. If it’s a new league, you’re likely in a Snake Draft (no reptiles will be harmed). If you’re joining your guy’s existing league, the format might be a little different. Here’s a GNO guide you can use.

Snake Draft: Think Sephora checkout lines. You pick first this time, last next time, then first again. Everyone eventually gets their moment to shine, kind of like sharing bronzer with your besties.
Best for: Beginners
Why it works: Fair and balanced, everyone gets an equal shot at the top players
Tip: Prep your ranked cheat sheet, because the snake back comes fast and furious. You could be first, you could be last, you could be last then first in the next round.

Auction Draft (Salary Cap League): Imagine a silent auction at a charity gala, but instead of a trip to Cabo, you’re bidding fake cash on Travis Kelce. Splurge early or save for later, but don’t blow your whole budget on the fantasy equivalent of last season’s boots.
Best for: Power players who love control
Why it works: Every player is technically up for grabs if you have the budget
Tip: Set a walk-away number, like you would at the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale in the Free People section.

Best Ball Draft: This is basically your set-it-and-forget-it slow cooker of drafts. Pick your players, then let the algorithm start your best lineup each week. No waivers, no lineup drama. Like booking an all-inclusive and never checking the dinner bill.
Best for: Low-maintenance gals
Why it works: No in-season stress, maximum reward for early prep
Tip: Draft for depth; you can’t swap later.

Dynasty Draft: Think multi-year relationship energy. Once you draft a player, he’s basically moving into your Netflix account. You’re together until retirement, trade, or heartbreak.
Best for: Diehards
Why it works: Keeps your roster long-term and rewards strategic scouting
Tip: Rookie research is key, like following TikTok’s early-drop trends before everyone else catches on.

Keeper League: Dynasty’s cooler little sister. You keep one or two favorites from last season, like re-wearing those perfect boots that still slay because now they’re broken in. The rest? Total free-for-all.
Best for: Balancing long-term planning with fresh starts
Why it works: Locks in value from last season’s smart calls
Tip: Pick keepers wisely. Don’t hold on to emotional favorites that tanked last year.

Girl Math Rules for Engagement

Rule 1: Girl Math Starts at the Top of the Board

If he costs you your first-round pick, he better be worth the splurge. Think of Justin Jefferson as the Chanel bag of fantasy wide receivers: timeless, high-volume, and always in style. Sure, he’s pricey, but your ROI (receiving on investment) is through the roof.

Girl math logic: He’s projected for 1,700+ yards this season, which is basically 170 reasons why this is investing, not spending.

Early-round it-girls still ranked at the top:

• CeeDee Lamb (Cowboys) – Target monster. He’s the workhorse tote bag that somehow fits everything and never lets you down.
• Ja’Marr Chase (Bengals) – Big-play queen energy. He’s the pair of Jimmy Choos that always turns heads.
• Christian McCaffrey (49ers) – Luxury crossbody vibes: chic, versatile, and somehow everywhere you need him to be.

Rule 2: Nail the Cute but Cost-Effective Picks

This is where girl math really shines: the mid-round steals. It’s the fantasy equivalent of snagging a Reformation dress during an end-of-season sale. You’re not settling, you’re winning smarter.

Rule 3: Stack the Squad, Not the Stress

Boys stress-draft. Girls stack-draft. Remember from last week that stacking means pairing your QB with a top WR or TE from the same team for double the scoring juice. Think Mahomes and Kelce, Hurts and A.J. Brown, or Dak and CeeDee. In girl math terms? It’s like buying the matching blazer and trousers. More pieces, more outfits, more points.

Rule 4: Know When to Splurge, When to Save

Fantasy football drafts aren’t about pinching pennies, they’re about maximizing value. Girl math hack: if a late-round QB puts up top-5 numbers, that savings can be reinvested in a luxury WR or RB early.

Translation: Grabbing Jordan Love (Packers) in Round 10 instead of overspending on Josh Allen in Round 3 means you can budget for someone like Amon-Ra St. Brown early. That’s ROI we can all toast.

Rule 5: Always Draft One Glass-of-Wine Player

Every lineup deserves a little fun. A player who makes your Sundays spicy, even if he’s not the safest pick. Girl math says this is your treat-yourself moment.

Current wine-glass picks:

• De’Von Achane (Dolphins) – Pure chaos energy in RB form.
• George Pickens (Steelers) – “Did he just catch that?!” highlight king.
• Trey McBride (Cardinals) – The TE sleeper everyone will pretend they totally called.

Rule 6: Trash Talk Is a Line Item

Girl math includes a psychological edge. Every time you tell your league-mates you “accidentally drafted” CeeDee Lamb while sipping on a French 75, that’s free intimidation equity.

Some go-to lines:

• “Oh, you didn’t know Puka’s YAC per route run improved 30% last year? Huh.”
• “Yeah, I faded Mahomes. Too mainstream.”
• “Oops, I guess I just manifested another Top 5 RB.”

Rule 7: Girl Math Means Always Betting on Yourself

Every touchdown feels sweeter when you drafted him, you knew it, and he delivered. The spreadsheets, the algorithms, the expert podcasts? Great. But trust your vibe and your research because nobody calculates value like we do. So go ahead, call the QB1s your investments, the WR3s your discount rack gems, and the kicker your impulse buy at checkout. Girl math says you just built a roster that slays.

Draft Like You’ve Been Doing This for Years

Once the clock starts ticking on Draft Day you can be even more prepared by keeping last week’s  Sandman Sports Girl’s Night Out post up on one screen and flipping back and forth. Use the links and list of players for quick reference. And we included a link to the cheat sheet from ESPN found here. No spreadsheet. No stress. All of the fun.

Cheers to a fun season!

Want more Sandman? Come connect with us here at sandmansports.com/onestopshop